Were Medieval Knights Gay?

Medieval knights are commonly known to be the heroes you learn about as a child in storybooks. They are usually acknowledged for their bravery, chivalry, fighting battles, and saving damsels in distress. However, something not widely known is how common “queerness” was amongst medieval knights, and generally medieval culture.

In today’s society, opinions on homosexuality and its acceptance may be a sensitive topic. Today, a person’s sexuality is one of the most significant parts of their identity. Strong opinions and beliefs tend to surround the topic. Has it always been like this? Has sexuality always been so harshly judged and surveilled? Surprisingly, it hasn’t. During medieval times, before the 14th century, having homosexual or heterosexual relations was not seen as significant. It was solely viewed as an act someone did, not a defining characteristic. Heterosexuality was treated in the same aspect, seen as an act rather than an identifiable characteristic.

Historically, for over a millennium marriage was not normalized. Marriage was seen as a financial, political, or social agreement, rather than being viewed modernly as a loving partnership. Because marriage was not emotionally significant at that time, other relationships were deemed to be emotionally fulfilling. However, because marriage was viewed as an agreement, homosexual marriages continued to be deemed normalized, and in no way were out of the norm. In both homosexual and heterosexual marriages, sex was not an automatically assumed practice among the two, as it is in marriages today. In medieval times, sodomy was defined as any sexual act done outside of marriage, not for procreation. This only reiterates how medieval society viewed sex as only an act, rather than the value it holds in relationships today.

In medieval times, officiated same-sex ceremonies would take place that were labeled as “declarations of brotherhood”. Such “declarations of brotherhood”, could be easily compared to a modern-day, same-sex wedding ceremony, where similarly vows were exchanged, rings were exchanged, the two would kiss, and would celebrate with a feast. In many of these “declarations of brotherhood”, where an individual has a wife and kids, they may be in this agreement to, for example, share land. Knights also had ceremonies where they were sworn into brotherhood, promising their loyalty to their knight brothers. The importance of intimate bonds and loyalty among knights was led by their being judged as a whole, rather than as individuals. So, if your brother commits a wrongdoing, their acts and behaviors reflect on you. Knights having a close bond was necessary for strategic survival.

It is fascinating to see how differently society treats sexuality today. It is one of the most condemned characteristics today. To see the extreme stigmas surrounding sexuality, compared to over six hundred years ago is disheartening. It’s sad to see the strict boundaries we currently put on relationships. The strength of relationships between two individuals whether it is romantic, platonic, straight, or queer is not an identifiable factor of the strength of the relationship. I believe that’s why society was so successful in widely accepting homosexuality during medieval times because there were no strict expectations, nor boundaries surrounding sexuality, relationships, friendships, and partnerships. For instance, a modern-day individual could interpret a medieval letter as a romantic love letter, compared to another individual, who may interpret it as a letter to a best friend. I believe that the line drawn between what is judged as friendship, and what is judged as a romance, has too much significance in our identities today. I think what we should focus on more is expressing love. Expressing our love to our romantic partners, friends, and families is one of the most fulfilling, valuable, and necessary acts we can do for our well-being. A vital part of taking care of our health is being in community with one another, and there is no sense of community if there is no sense of relationship, connection, loyalty, consideration, and love.

References

Rowe, K. (2025, July 25). Medieval Knights Were a LOT Gayer Thank You Think. YouTube. https://youtu.be/PYqT6sKZJjY?si=x0x_FvkKXYcwd9zM